And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
