Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
