I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
