What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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