David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
