so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
