Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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