so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My pussy is not your playground.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
