Do you still have your period?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sober January is a disaster.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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