Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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