how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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