he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
