Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
