We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm at about main and main street
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
