im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
