At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
