What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
