Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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