You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
