Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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