One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
