what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
