He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
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