Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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