You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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