You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
