"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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