Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
