if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
