Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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