It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
