He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
