i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
