weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
