I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
