wrigley field is MILF paradise
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
