i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
