I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
