come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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