he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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