I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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