scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
