I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
