Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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