Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
