Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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