Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
