Don't you send me to vm
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
