I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
