i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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