I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
