i permit you to call me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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